Diary of a Bad Golfer

A private security company has found a way to nuke the controversial callback component in Microsoft’s Windows Genuine Advantage anti-piracy tool.

Firewall Leak Tester, a company that provides tools to test the quality of personal firewall software, has released a utility called RemoveWGA that blocks Microsoft from “phoning home” from Windows PCs on a daily basis.

“Once the WGA Notification tool has checked your OS and has confirmed you had a legit copy, there is no decent point or reason to check it again and again every boot,” the company said in a note explaining its motive for releasing the tool.

The WGA tool, which is a mandatory part of the Redmond, Wash., software maker’s battle to curb Windows piracy, includes two separate components: WGA validation and WGA notifications. Validation determines whether the copy of Windows installed is pirated or not, and Notifications is set up to nag users whom Microsoft believes are not running “genuine Windows” and “suggest” where they can “learn more about the benefits of using genuine Windows software.”

However, Notifications has been “phoning home” to Microsoft’s servers on a daily basis, and Windows users are up in arms over potential privacy and security risks. Microsoft insists the callbacks are a “”safety check” to ensure that WGA can be terminated quickly if things went amok, but this was never communicated to users until the week of June 4.

On June 8, Microsoft announced plans to tweak the WGA to only check for a new settings file every 14 days.

We know what happened to Ben in the situation with the bike, but what if it had happened to a different player?

Drew Bledsoe - Same thing as Ben, but it would’ve been on a stationary bike.

Eli Manning - Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle.

Donovan McNabb - He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Mark Brunell - He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car.

Brett Favre - He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and would decide to contemplate retirement for a couple of months.

Brad Johnson - Nobody would have noticed.

Rex Grossman - This is a trick question, because Grossman would’ve been in the hospital before the wreck even happened.

Josh McCown - Matt Millen would’ve traded him for a wide receiver.

Chris Simms - People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson.

Michael Vick - The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it.

Matt Schaub - Everyone would still want him because he torched the Patriots.

Drew Brees - He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players.

Jake Delhomme - He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him.

Alex Smith -He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season.

Matt Leinart - He would’ve dropped drastically on the draft chart amidst rumors that he can’t take a hit.

Matt Hasselbeck - He would’ve been embarrassed, because five seconds before the crash he would have predicted that he would beat the car.

Marc Bulger - (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting.

Gus Frerotte - He’d be fine, his head has hurt before…

J.P. Losman - He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely.

Daunte Culpepper - Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying.

Chad Pennington - He would’ve been injured. Duh.

Tom Brady - Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down.

Charlie Batch - Pittsburgh would be fine, because elite backup Omar Jacobs would fill in for him.

Steve McNair - He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is.

Kyle Boller - Out of anger, he would’ve hurled the car 60 yards on one knee.

Carson Palmer - Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn.

Charlie Frye - Trent Dilfer would return to Cleveland,take over the team, win a Super Bowl*, and then get cut when Elvis Grbac decided to come out of retirement

Peyton Manning - During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass.

Vince Young - Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young…

Byron Leftwich - He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains.

David Carr - He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday.

Trent Green - If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy.

Aaron Brooks - Al Davis would blame Art Shell and then fire him.

Philip Rivers - Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all.

Jake Plummer - He wouldn’t have hit the windshield at all, because Broncos only hit in the back

- Original Author Unknown

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